My throat hurts inredibly much, i dont think its hurt like this since I was 9 or something. Stupid tonsils. I should have just gotten them out when they(doctors) wanted to take em out.
I guess my throat is minor pain to what I'm experiencing in my heart right now. These past 2 days I had off work and even with the time off and possibility to go out I didnt want to. I just want to sit here, listen to music, and drown myself in my own misery. Why do i let things get to me? Could just be medical, probably is. But it doesnt matter if it is or not. Theres no reason why anyone should feel this way...but maybe i deserve it. Maybe God is punishing for all the sins I've committed.
I feel so empty and yet on fire with anxiety and confusion. I guess I'll wait for fate to find me. Why can't everything be simple and be happy?... why cant i stop screwing up? why can't people stop hurting me? Why can't I stop hurting myself? why can't i let things slide easier? why do i ask so many stupid questions? why don't people understand? why don't i understand myself?
What does this life hold for me? Where am I going? Do I even want to get there?
Enough questions for one night... no answers anyhow.
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