*stomp, stomp, clap clap " Good Morning Dean"*
Sooooo today was my 2nd day working at the big ol WAL*MART. Every morning starts with about 50 people crowding around the managers trying to hear their instruction over the construction ruckus. But before we're sent to build, hang, shape etc..... we must cheer...thats right. Walmart has a cheer...sigh. Anyways..I have to get up for work again in a couple hours so I dont think I'm gonna talk about it anymore.
I guess I'm too tired to talk much tonight..once again. My muscles are sore. More emotion sharing some other time I guess...SO to wrap it up quickly with something that touced my heart today, I'll leave with a quote. Wish I had discovered this in the previous years. It's the first quote I would have really loved to use in the yearbook. But thats irony for you. Anyways...
"I'm no longer afraid of becoming lost, because a journey back always reveals something new and thats ultimately good for the artist"
~ Christian Overmann ~
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Monday, October 18, 2004
Sooooo
I don't really have too much to say. But its been awhile...I suppose I should catch up.
Not much has been going on I guess.
Been to see CMYC 3 times now. Not a huge fan of the repetoire but the people are awesome. Met a bunch of em! Really brought back memories which is typical but wonderful and painful and everything rolled into one. 1st year CMYC ... cant seem to talk about it enough. I believe fully that that experience changed a lil something in most people who were there. Had huge effects in some of our lives ..... crazy. I suppose CMYC will always hold a special place in our hearts.
I'm frusterated...go figure. Maybe I have all the trust issues....or maybe theres just no one out there to trust. This may be out of the blue...but in my books is written everywhere.
It's odd..I have so much on my mind..way more I could say about what i've already written but just don't have the passion to do so tonight. Later maybe...but for now... good night.
Not much has been going on I guess.
Been to see CMYC 3 times now. Not a huge fan of the repetoire but the people are awesome. Met a bunch of em! Really brought back memories which is typical but wonderful and painful and everything rolled into one. 1st year CMYC ... cant seem to talk about it enough. I believe fully that that experience changed a lil something in most people who were there. Had huge effects in some of our lives ..... crazy. I suppose CMYC will always hold a special place in our hearts.
I'm frusterated...go figure. Maybe I have all the trust issues....or maybe theres just no one out there to trust. This may be out of the blue...but in my books is written everywhere.
It's odd..I have so much on my mind..way more I could say about what i've already written but just don't have the passion to do so tonight. Later maybe...but for now... good night.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Okay Tonight
It's true, things are okay tonight. Tomorrow may be different but I won't think about it now..cuz I need to take this tonight before its gone.
Thanksgiving weekend is over now. Lots of food in my stomach and family time clocked.
I think I'm gonna have to walk every day this week. I've been so infatuated with my weight lately..not sure why.
Friday night was great. Les and Jon are wonderful and I was soo happy to spend some time with them again. Thanks Joelle for the lot and all your work (heidi and sal too)...it was a fun night. It's always nice to get together and actually ENJOY each others company. I hope we can do that some more. Just maybe leave less frightened next time. No psychos in bushes thanks!
Kev spent the weekend here..it was nice. It's good to have a good friend with you all weekend. Played some hockey, basketball - haha..Im awful. rollerbladed..played gamecube, went to krahn gathering. (all 8 of us there).
I guess I dont have much else to say..... cept the Jetson's Movie is the best and I kinda like Under the Tuscan Sun. Congrats Jaci and Curt! and.... Heidi, Sal, Joelle - I love you. Coffee is always great with you guys.
Thanksgiving weekend is over now. Lots of food in my stomach and family time clocked.
I think I'm gonna have to walk every day this week. I've been so infatuated with my weight lately..not sure why.
Friday night was great. Les and Jon are wonderful and I was soo happy to spend some time with them again. Thanks Joelle for the lot and all your work (heidi and sal too)...it was a fun night. It's always nice to get together and actually ENJOY each others company. I hope we can do that some more. Just maybe leave less frightened next time. No psychos in bushes thanks!
Kev spent the weekend here..it was nice. It's good to have a good friend with you all weekend. Played some hockey, basketball - haha..Im awful. rollerbladed..played gamecube, went to krahn gathering. (all 8 of us there).
I guess I dont have much else to say..... cept the Jetson's Movie is the best and I kinda like Under the Tuscan Sun. Congrats Jaci and Curt! and.... Heidi, Sal, Joelle - I love you. Coffee is always great with you guys.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Same as always
Why do moods have to fluctuate so constantly? You think your ok one minute, and the next your not. I'm sorry to those who have been reading these blogs and the reocurring theme is just depressing. One thing in your life can make all the difference. Something may be a burden to one person but a treasure to the next. Or its just the situations we're stuck in creates the illusion that this aspect is something we need or we don't need. Like a relationship...maybe we're hurting so much we think we need it. Or maybe we're soo frusterated with a relationship, we think we dont need it. What is the real truth? When God no longer seems like someone you can trust, where do you go? Maybe I'm being strong, showing my true feelings..or maybe I'm just a coward to find the truth if there is such. I don't mean to contradict what I've said in the past. I feel like I'm running in circles...stuck in a maze with no start or no end. Just hoping to find some sort of revolution. If anyone saw Paul Wall's name tonight......
The truth is..I think the reason that I can't figure anything out..or how i feel about anything is because I dont even know me. I dont know what i want, I dont have any direction. Hell, I dont even like the person I am for the most part. I need to find a place, where I can either face my problems or run from them. Oh God, What do I do? Is this a lost cause...do I just give in? Or is there still a chance at a sliver of happiness..
Wings to Fly
She sits in the corner, crying out in desperation,
As the last sliver of light fades to black,
What feels right to her, no one will understand,
In this place of doubt, in this place of fear,
The only real she knows,
This angel's losing her wings,
Can't anyone see, Can't anyone see,
She' can't go forward, but she can't go back,
With no wings to fly, There she will lie,
Watch her fall,
As this angel loses her wings,
Don't bother her now, what is the point,
She's shut herself out from it all,
Don't give your hand , to nothing in return,
Tormenting this , chaotic sanctuary,
Confuse the real she knows,
The truth is..I think the reason that I can't figure anything out..or how i feel about anything is because I dont even know me. I dont know what i want, I dont have any direction. Hell, I dont even like the person I am for the most part. I need to find a place, where I can either face my problems or run from them. Oh God, What do I do? Is this a lost cause...do I just give in? Or is there still a chance at a sliver of happiness..
Wings to Fly
She sits in the corner, crying out in desperation,
As the last sliver of light fades to black,
What feels right to her, no one will understand,
In this place of doubt, in this place of fear,
The only real she knows,
This angel's losing her wings,
Can't anyone see, Can't anyone see,
She' can't go forward, but she can't go back,
With no wings to fly, There she will lie,
Watch her fall,
As this angel loses her wings,
Don't bother her now, what is the point,
She's shut herself out from it all,
Don't give your hand , to nothing in return,
Tormenting this , chaotic sanctuary,
Confuse the real she knows,
Monday, October 04, 2004
Walk away this time.....
....with my head up high. Walk away, just me and myself. Walk away with pride, nothing left to hide, cuz it just feels right to be one.
Lately I've been constantly reminded about how none of us are alright together unless we're alright seperately. In the relationships I view around me and the ones I am part of myself, my conclusion is we are all weak as individuals. I want my friends to love themselves, I want to love myself. We don't need to act a certain way, or feel we have a duty towards anyone but God. I mean , as friends, you will be a friend...but when it comes to who you are and how open you are..... theres NO reason why you should have to hide even the hugest flaw. A true friend will be encouraging and accepting now matter how awful it is. Why can't we all be these people..... If we can then we'll be happy with others and happy with ourselves. I can't really complain about life I guess, But I'm hurting a little because of some broken friendships and tonight I finally have decided to just move on. I miss them dearly and always will I guess, but I've done all I can to mend them and I can't so this is it. I can't be hard on myself for this. Like I said, strong individual. Being strong doesnt mean acting like everythings ok, and nothing ever affects you, but being strong is realizing your weaknesses are the true person you are and feeling you can be that person. Thats real strength.
Lately I've been constantly reminded about how none of us are alright together unless we're alright seperately. In the relationships I view around me and the ones I am part of myself, my conclusion is we are all weak as individuals. I want my friends to love themselves, I want to love myself. We don't need to act a certain way, or feel we have a duty towards anyone but God. I mean , as friends, you will be a friend...but when it comes to who you are and how open you are..... theres NO reason why you should have to hide even the hugest flaw. A true friend will be encouraging and accepting now matter how awful it is. Why can't we all be these people..... If we can then we'll be happy with others and happy with ourselves. I can't really complain about life I guess, But I'm hurting a little because of some broken friendships and tonight I finally have decided to just move on. I miss them dearly and always will I guess, but I've done all I can to mend them and I can't so this is it. I can't be hard on myself for this. Like I said, strong individual. Being strong doesnt mean acting like everythings ok, and nothing ever affects you, but being strong is realizing your weaknesses are the true person you are and feeling you can be that person. Thats real strength.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
The day just ended....
2 years and counting today! That would be Kev and I. Kinda crazy to think that we've been together for that long. It's make it or break it time for a lot of couples...I suppose. And if someone presented the choice right now..I'd make it. :) Kevin is so special to me.
hehe..anyways..I dont mean to go all mushy on y'all. BUT quickly to explain..seeing as we thought we wouldnt have time to get together today. (him with hockey, me with work etc) We thought we'd do something the weekend after. (next weekend) but LAST friday..he showed up at my house unexpectedly. He blindfolded me...and escorted me to his car. We drove to a place (which of course I did not know where ).... He took off my blindfold and there was a picnic blanket, with candles around it. He brought cheesecake (my fave dessert) and chocolate milk (my fave drink). He brought a dozen pink roses for me which were GORGEOUS. To top it all off..his gift to me (one the many) was ROXY snowboard boots! I was soo pumped. They ares oo great. I cant wait to get boarding! AWW, Kev, you are the best!
Yesterday, Heidi, Selina, Joelle and Sonya, and I went to CMYC "SNL" at Circle Square Ranch. It was kewl..going back there. SO many good memories... but painful ones too. There were so many talented people there and wow , does it ever touch me. I guess thats the last time we'll ever head up there for CMYC. Hate to see it go.....
This morning was the "Run for the Cure" event in Winnipeg. (since its breast cancer awarness month). LOTS OF PINK! hehe (i love pink) There were about 6000 people registered and at least 5000 actually took part. Cancer survivors, as well as there friends and family, people who knew people who passed away as a result and other people who just care!!!! It was awesome to see all these people together trying to make a different. As you know..it hits home. My mom loves this and so Im glad I could be there for her today. " I RAN FOR MOM". :) Kev came too...and i thought it was neat that he would put this sort of effort in for my mom and I. Thankyou darlin!
hehe..anyways..I dont mean to go all mushy on y'all. BUT quickly to explain..seeing as we thought we wouldnt have time to get together today. (him with hockey, me with work etc) We thought we'd do something the weekend after. (next weekend) but LAST friday..he showed up at my house unexpectedly. He blindfolded me...and escorted me to his car. We drove to a place (which of course I did not know where ).... He took off my blindfold and there was a picnic blanket, with candles around it. He brought cheesecake (my fave dessert) and chocolate milk (my fave drink). He brought a dozen pink roses for me which were GORGEOUS. To top it all off..his gift to me (one the many) was ROXY snowboard boots! I was soo pumped. They ares oo great. I cant wait to get boarding! AWW, Kev, you are the best!
Yesterday, Heidi, Selina, Joelle and Sonya, and I went to CMYC "SNL" at Circle Square Ranch. It was kewl..going back there. SO many good memories... but painful ones too. There were so many talented people there and wow , does it ever touch me. I guess thats the last time we'll ever head up there for CMYC. Hate to see it go.....
This morning was the "Run for the Cure" event in Winnipeg. (since its breast cancer awarness month). LOTS OF PINK! hehe (i love pink) There were about 6000 people registered and at least 5000 actually took part. Cancer survivors, as well as there friends and family, people who knew people who passed away as a result and other people who just care!!!! It was awesome to see all these people together trying to make a different. As you know..it hits home. My mom loves this and so Im glad I could be there for her today. " I RAN FOR MOM". :) Kev came too...and i thought it was neat that he would put this sort of effort in for my mom and I. Thankyou darlin!
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